Charlie Brown Trees

Last summer Dan and I planted what we were told would be Hydrangeas in our backyard.  We had ordered them from the Arbor Day Foundation and when they came I was glad that the spot we had prepared for them was in the backyard...to avoid neighborhood humiliation.  Talk about some Charlie Brown trees.  They spent all summer looking like a couple of well watered sticks in the ground.  I had serious doubts about what would become of them.  Just when I had decided that a stick garden was all I was getting in return for my devotion to our pathetic little friends, Spring arrived.  With it came the beginnings of some beautiful Hydrangeas - no flowers yet, but nice green leaves all over with more showing up all the time.  I love looking out my kitchen window and seeing what we had hoped for becoming a reality.  I try to think positively and tell myself how much Dan would enjoy seeing them grow.  Tears are unpredictable and common for me right now and I will admit that I have cried more than once looking at them and wishing that he could see how they've grown.  As time marches on, there are much more significant changes taking place around our house that I desperately wish Dan were here to witness.  Today is Sam and Isaac's 13th birthday.  Does it get more important than that?  Our twin boys who, between the two of them, arrived 6 weeks early, did time in the NICU, had major feeding problems resulting in a feeding tube for 2 years, had 8 surgeries to repair "plumbing" problems, were diagnosed with ADHD and then with autism, dealt with seizures, had physical, occupational and speech therapy at one time or another, experienced public, home, online home and now private school until something finally seemed like a fit....our guys are growing and if I had to guess, I would say they will do just fine.  We put so much work and love into them and I want to be able to look at Dan, the person who was here for every moment, excrutiating or exhilarating, and just know between the two of us that it's paying off.  To remind each other that we did a good job getting this far and that we wouldn't trade our little Charlie Brown trees for anything.  Here's to you, Dan - thank you for pouring yourself into Sam and Isaac's lives with me...what we had hoped for is becoming a reality.