Giants, Milk and Honey

When I woke up to a New Year this morning, I was less than inspired. Without leaving my bed, I peeked in on Twitter and Instragram. As expected, the social media theme right now is 2016. A new year. Fresh start. Best year yet! #hastobebetterthanlastyear (that one makes me chuckle a little because I think it's a back handed compliment to 2016 depending on how rotten 2015 must've been for someone). People are tweeting inspirational messages and hashtags about taking on the new year. Instagram is bursting with beautiful photos of mountains or long, winding roads with words meant to convince me that I can climb that mountain or walk down that road and it's gonna be A-MAZ-ING. I scroll through all of it with a hint of cynicism.  To add to the negativity, I see photo collages of the #bestof2015 and convince myself I probably didn't take enough pictures of my kids last year. Or do enough pic-worthy activities with them.  Sigh.  There's nothing wrong with all of the inspirational new year's buzz--I think it's a positive use of social media. It's just that I didn't wake up today with a freshly written list of resolutions or a sense that the best is yet to come. Since I'm being honest, I'll have to say that I woke up feeling a bit overwhelmed. Defeated. Another year to struggle. I stayed under the covers a little longer and cried. It was a moment of grief. It was a reminder that although the calendar will show a new year (and I will write the wrong one for at least 6 more weeks), there is nothing new about my circumstances. Can you say 'Debbie Downer'? I seriously considered just stewing in my negative soup but I needed more. Way more.  I needed God to pull me out of that moment and give me a pep talk better than any hashtag or scenic mountain range. I opened my bible app and started reading the passages assigned to me on my reading plan (the one I consistently get behind on). I didn't seek out a particular verse to speak to how I was feeling. It was more of a comforting routine. Enter a sweet, loving Father who never misses an opportunity to encourage me if I am willing to let Him. The passage I was assigned today just 'happened' to be in Numbers. It's the account of when Moses sent a scouting party into Canaan and most of them came back in a panic. A whole group of downers who focused only on what would be challenging in that land God promised to them. Okay, God, the connection is not lost on me. The real focus in this passage, however, is the pair of scouts who came back with more than just overwhelming concerns. Joshua and Caleb came back admitting that there were obstacles but they were determined to focus on the potential. Determined to focus on God.  Sure, they saw the giants in the land but they also saw a land 'flowing with milk and honey'. Numbers 13:30 says, 'Caleb interrupted, called for silence before Moses and said, "Let's go up and take the land--now. We can do it."' When God spoke in chapter 14, verse 24, He said, "But my servant Caleb--this is a different story. He has a different spirit; he follows me passionately. I'll bring him into the land that he scouted and his children will inherit it." I love when I think I'm just reading my bible and God reminds me that He wants to speak to me. I'm no Caleb, but I want to be. I clearly woke up this morning ready to tell myself how overwhelming the obstacles are and how I will never make it. But God wanted to remind me that I can do it. God didn't give the Israelites or even Caleb a step-by-step plan for their journey into Canaan. He didn't tell them exactly how they would overcome all of the very real obstacles ahead. And He didn't take those obstacles away. But he did express his approval of Caleb's attitude. Caleb had seen how scary Canaan seemed but he refused to give in to fear or discouragement.  He had seen hard times.  He was wandering in the wilderness with all the others and still trusted that God had more for him.  I don't know if 2016 will seem more like the promised land or wandering in the wilderness, but I do know that I want to be a Caleb. I want God to look at my heart and say 'This is a different story. She has a different spirit. She follows me passionately.' So whether you are pumped about 2016 or still under your covers crying, I say 'Let's go up and take 2016--now. We can do it.'